Yes, yes it is. Now bow down and kiss Savage Clones' boots.

Tried to give a girl my phone number today, it ended up being awkward and embarrassing, I want to crawl into a hole.

She at least took it though.

dont sweat it. worst case scenario you get friendzoned.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, she's pretty cool, so I can always just text her as a friend. (And any girl who's willing to listen to NIN despite being prewarned is someone worth being friends with :D)

damn I wish I could just talk to this girl...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3GAII20vTo

What's stopping you?

Fear, mostly. The worry of embarrassment.

I feel like it'd be really uncomfortable if someone just randomly messaged me saying I was cute and they wanted to date, and I don't want to do that to someone?

Fuck, I may as well. You only live once, I guess.

That feeling never goes away. I'm 28 and i still get goosebumps. Just show respect and dont be an asshole. You'll do just fine. Especially at your age, most people are just as nervous as you.

If they reject you, then you're just where you started.

Ask if they wanna go out for coffee or a bite to eat (or whatever seems plausible) sometime. You dont have to mention how cute they are right off the bat.

Just fake confidence (i know i do), trust me. Confidence is the most attractive feature you can have.

It's how you wear it, not what it is. Think about it.

I was an obese tubs of fun as a 16 year old and i still got my dick rocked because i was confident. just saying,.

use your emo thing to your advantage. thats your gimmick. own it.

i mean think about it. you're cool as fuck. you know all about cool music right? you fucking post here. talk about sonic youth and radiohead. probably some shit about art too. use that to your advantage. you're probably not a bad looking person either, dont let your self esteem and dysphoria fuck with your head.

your coolness and musical knowledge is your superpower, it is way more interesting than whatever this girl has in her corner. trust me. trust yourself.

do i make sense? just dont get all weird and stalker like. i've definitely been there before hahaha

It was probably not a good idea to try to ask her out in front of her friend.

Now I'm trying to work out when the right time to Snapchat her is...

I'm in the process of untaking. Sucks.

We have been talking it through for a week. We definitely want to still be friends if nothing else. I need an emotion switch.

sigh for the second year in a row, I'm crushing on a Year 12 girl who I'll probably never actually talk to

Not with that attitude you won't. Just go bloody talk to her. Not like you've anything to lose. Dignity? What dignity.

My advice-ask her what's her favourite Boredoms album is. Always a winner.

I don't have a favourite Boredoms record.

But I spend way too much time sulking about shit, and this time I have a plan. I'll see if I can sit with their group at recess (I have a class in the Year 12 room afterwards and I know one of them).

Watch as nothing happens and I repeat this rant about a different girl in a month's time.

Good news: I went and introduced myself to the girl. My friend ended up (inadvertently) serving as a wingwoman, inviting me into the group and explaining that I was cool.

Bad news: she appears to be in with one of the guys in the group. :(

Oh well. shit like that is always gonna happen. GOod on you for trying though.

Yeah, I know. But I'll still try hanging out - she did one of my classes last year, so she can probably give me advice. Also, cute friends are good.

Unrelated, but this conversation inspired me somewhat:
I looked for them on Spotify and Bandcamp because they seemed like fun, but they had essentially nothing on either of those. What gives? Why can't I listen to them?

Thanks man - I know YouTube exists, but I generally only use it as a last resort. I listen to music on my phone usually, and if I'm on the app I'm not on anything else - hell for a post-milennial with a pitiful attention span.

Tbf, I was taking the piss. I certainly wasn't expecting her to have a favourite Boredoms album. It was either ask her that or favourite Throbbing gristle album.

I knew you were taking the piss, but still. Boredoms sound like my thing.

Update: I just headbutted the girl in the face. Having a crush is going soooooo well.

lmfao

she makes you nervous, huh?

good sign... :D

Admittedly saying it like that makes it sound as bad as it can be.

She has a boyfriend. That's not great, but I'm definitely making friends with her, and she seems like a really sweet person who enjoys talking - she's been happy to see me.
And the headbutt happened when we were going for a hug. She just laughed it off and we tried again, more successfully.

Turns out that's a good way to get yourself out of a depression: fuck up in an absurdly comical way.

haha what?

i meant she makes you nervous and therefore clumsy

i used to get tongue-tied lmfao

ok i gotta go you have fun out there

Married 10 years this month. On our first date 12 years ago, I noticed a Daydream Nation LP in her living room.

You know what? Fuck it.

I'm in the progress of asking some of my friends from school if they have any gay friends, in the hope that they could try and connect us, maybe go on a few test dates or whatever.
Fingers crossed.

EDIT: The first friend I told about this told me that one of my friends was and that he kinda liked me. But the really awkward part is I don't really like him...

Crush knows I have a crush on her. I'd asked her to hang out, but she said that she has a boyfriend and she wouldn't feel comfortable with the feelings involved. :(

I've got a gf :)

ah! congrats

a new kind of suffering begins! :D

Yeah, I guess - insecurity on a whole new level.

Her name's Lilac, she's 18 and British. It's a long distance relationship, which I know is awkward, but we really like each other, we have shared experiences...IDK, I'm just happy about it.

eh, long distance beats non existence any day! it’s a good thing.

insecurity, anxiety, hunger and all that good stuff that makes life interesting, ha ha ha. you ever read sappho? one of the best poets on the subject that ever lived. check her maybe some day.

anyway, enjoy this life, teenager! hahaha, to be 17 was exciting and hilarious. i hope you get to make many great memories.

So bizarre. The person with whom I had broken up, who I thought was unhealthy for me... We had a huge conversation, everything suddenly inverted and now we bonded on a deeper level and I realize this is about to be the first healthy relationship I will have ever had.

My mind has been blowing since wednesday. I don't know when I will wrap my head around it. It makes me laugh when it crosses my mind.

Oh. And apparently polyamory might be right for me. So weird. She has another partner and we know about each other. I legitimately, honestly don't feel conflicted about it. I feel like logic should be telling me this shouldn't work but logic is telling me otherwise.

I read through some of her stuff the other day. (note to self: did i return that?) She actually only has fragments of poems that survived. A lot of poems accredited to her are false.
This version, it had the words of each poem placed on the page where they would be, the missing words left blank. Very beautiful. Some pages are just one word.

Allegedly she was a genius composer. Her poems are actually lyrics.

Woo lesbians. I met a married l3s couple today at temple. It had a bit of a feeling of like "hey you. I see you. We are the same."
We talked about Pet Sounds and Smile.

HeeeeAaarttt.
Love is dumb.
And fun.
Tonight anyway.
I have never been able to tell if the joy of love outweighs the torture. It's nice right now though. The suddenly twist around and sit upside down on a chair like a kid from glee kind of nice.
It's also fun to have a reason to look and feel pretty. I wore this sweater tonight that is fun because it's ratger risque but no one can tell. I have it as a kind of sexy stage thing but it crosses over well for the purposes of flirtation and courtship.
I don't know what genius designed this sweater but it's badass. The thread is a color that, well, matches the aeriolas. It's threaded in a way that leaves a lot of space so you can see skin through it. Somehow the effect is that you don't need to wear a bra, and no one can tell. You can straight up see my breasts, you can tell by the shape I'm not wearing a bra. My aeriolas are totally exposed but because of the color if the thread you can't see.

Add to that wind, sun, sweat and a woman's skin sensitivity, it's a bit of fun. Playing live has stimuli like that so it adds a subtle layer of sexy feelings.

single as fuhhh....




it's a bittersweet feeling at the moment...

actually I take that back....it's been pretty good.