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Old 03.23.2012, 07:38 AM   #88
floatingslowly
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Item Record for SCP-261

Please record any and all anomalous items received from SCP-261, along with amount of money entered and item description, using the format below. Mundane items will be made available for personal consumption after scanning and clearance by Site Security.

Name: Date: Money entered: SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Item description:

Name: Dr. Rights Date: November 26, 2008 Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Oreos - A package of six standard Oreos, in bright blue wrapping, label in Spanish. Tasted normal, went well with milk.

Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Bag of Jolly Ranchers - Contained both standard flavors of Green Apple and Watermelon, with additional flavors Pomegranate, Loquat, and Blackberry. Current Jolly Ranchers are not known to contain these flavors. Edible and tasty.

Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: "Spice Bomb" - Small gumball, red and orange banded in color, with packaging in Japanese. Tasted like somebody made jalapeño gum. Unbearably spicy. Half-hour break called to throw up and drink an antacid.

Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Mountain Dew: Hot Pink -Clear plastic bottle, label in English. Liquid within a brilliant pink color, and proved to be edible, tasting very sweet and tart. Mild sugar high ensued. Flavor identified to be a mix of pomegranate and sour apple.

Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: <Unknown> - Small plastic box containing apparatus similar to heroin kit with small vial of clear liquid, label in unknown language. Found alternative researcher to use it. After injection, subject reported the strong taste of mint, and they smelled constantly of peppermint for the next several hours, apparently coming from sweat and body oils. Subject reported nausea after the first hour or so of this, due to the constant smell and taste.

Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: <Unknown> - USB-capable device similar to a flash drive, packaging marked only with a bar code. When plugged into a computer, the computer ran at twice normal speed and refused to react to mouse or keyboard movement, and appeared to be running several games of minesweeper at once. Object kept for potential testing with mechanical SCPs.

Dr. Rights was running low on yen at this point and left the machine alone for about a half-hour while she rummaged through her office for more

Money entered: 500 yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: <Unknown> - Milk chocolate replica of human male sexual organ, approximately six and a half inches from base to head, in foil wrapping with unknown language resembling Korean on label. Hollow, filled with liquid white chocolate. Edible and tasted decent. Testing ended after that.

Name: Dr. Iceberg Date: November 27, 2008

Money entered: 167 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Doritos-A bag of Doritos chips, nacho cheese flavor.

Money entered: 200 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Hershey's with nuts- A regular-sized bar of Hershey's chocolate with nuts. However, the nuts match with no known species.

Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Green Apple Frosting- A container of green frosting, with a green apple flavor. Currently not produced by any company.

Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Lay's Blooming Onion: All-dressed- An onion of average size and color. Cutting into shows that it is made of many layers, each a different color and tasting of a different flavor of chips, including some flavors never made by Lay's.

Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered Item description: Unknown- A clear plastic package filled with water, with tiny Manta Ray-like creatures swimming in it. Attached to it was a blue tablet in a plastic wrapper. When the top was opened and the tablet was added, the water instantly froze with a loud pop. After the ice block was pulled out of the package, the ice turned to vapor and left behind the creatures, frozen solid. Each was described as having a slightly different flavor.

Name: Dr. Rights Date: November 27, 2008

Money entered: 700 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Naked Fruit Drink (Berry Flavored) -Good, but nothing unusual. Packaging in English.

Money entered: 700 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Edible Chess Set - Small edible chess set made from hard candy. Candy similar in taste and texture to Pez, packaging in French.

Money entered: 700 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Human Breast Milk (Chocolate Flavored) - Very sweet and vaguely nostalgia-inducing. Nothing unusual about the quality of the milk beyond its packaging. Small label in Japanese. "I think the boob-shaped container was a nice touch." - Dr. Rights

Money entered: 1000 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Build-Your-Own Candybots - A small bag containing various mixed parts that could be assembled in different ways to create tiny, candy robots. Once completed, candy robots began to move on their own for approximately two minutes, walking about aimlessly and bumping into things. Cute, and very sweet. Packaging in unknown language.

Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: SCP-417 Fruit - Dr. Rights had to leave the room for a minute, before the item (in airtight packaging) was sent to be incinerated. Packaging in unknown language.

Money entered: 100 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Suppository - Nobody wanted to try this. Tests run later revealed mint flavoring and a high nutritional value. Packaging in unknown language resembling Greek, complete with diagram of how to use.

Name: Agent Hunter Date: January 16, 2009, lunchtime Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Thiotimoline cookies - Three chocolate chip cookies in plastic wrapping. Tasting sensations were felt at least three seconds before the cookies made any contact with the mouth. Packaging in what appears to be an unrecorded dialect of Bambara.

Name: Agent Thornton Date: January 19, 2009, lunchtime Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Strong jawbreaker — What appears to be a large gum ball with a faint fruity smell in unmarked transparent plastic packaging. Sharp pain was felt when trying to bite it (later examination noted that two teeth had been cracked). Object turned out to be an inordinately strong jawbreaker. It began to show visible wear only after several minutes in SCP-075's exudate, and required a pressure of several dozen tons in an industrial press before it broke up. Analysis of constituents showed only substances normal for a jawbreaker.

Name: Agent Hunter Date: January 19, 2009, lunchtime Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Hardtack — A piece of hardtack. Packaging in what was later determined to be heavily hellenized French written in Greek characters. Texture was barely bearable, but taste pleasantly meaty. Translation revealed the flavor to be turtle soup.

Name: Agent Thornton Date: January 20, 2009, lunchtime Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered Item description: Energy gas — A soap bubble stabilized inside a transparent plastic can. Packaging in English. Instruction are to "pierce a hole an inhale the contained gas." Applying a finger to the bubble will indeed pierce a hole. Inhaling the gas (smelling pleasantly of lavender) will cause the bubble to shrink until it vanishes completely and give an energized and empowered feeling to the user. Agent Thornton, however, complained for several hours of an irritated and itchy nasal cavity. Note: The strangeness of the item is almost certainly due to the fact a researcher forgot to plug it back after being injured in the course of an experiment earlier that day. Due to the machine's intrinsic properties, its unplugged state was not discovered before the evening.

Name: Agent Hunter Date: January 21, 2009, lunchtime Money entered: 500 Yen SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered Item description: Hazelnut Glosette — A package of approximately 12 small hazelnuts covered in chocolate. Packaging in German. DNA matched that of Iranian Corylus avellana strains. The Hershey Company does not manufacture this product.
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