I feel as though I'm always tryna advise you, Choc. I enjoy pretending that I'm wise.
Live. Take risks. Strut your stuff, and give yourself a reason to smile. You shouldn't have to apologize for yr own existence. Nobody should, except for like Hitler, Ted Bundy, or tesla69.
Use your new source of income to fuel something creatively. Find a passion and stick with it. You're still young enough where you can practice something for a decade and only be in your mid-20s after you've honed your craft for that long.
Be confident in yourself by turning yourself into someone who you can confidently be.
Also learn how to torrent and watch Buffy, Angel, Arrow, and Daredevil in their entirety... and listen to more heavy metal. Let some of that teen rage out.
Sadness is only anger in disguise.
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